Newsletter October, 2006



October 2006

Why So Heavy is His Hand?

(Wm. Ng)

(Note: Brother Wm. Ng of Jacksonville went to be with the Lord on March 7, 2006. He gave this testimony on his death bed, as recorded by Mrs. Ng. May his last words encourage many to come back to the Lord Jesus.)

O God! Why so heavy is Your hand?

It is indeed too heavy upon me, as if You have pronounced "No Negotiation!"

I have been a Christian since very young. Once I offered my pure, youthful heart for His service, and went into seminary for four-year's training. Afterwards I served in a church for a number of years. But because of my little faith and weak spirit, I did not know how to continue following the Lord. As a result, I withdrew from full-time Christian service.

Tempted by the World

Satan is truly the most diligent evil one in this universe who wants to draw men away from God. In the book of Job he brought suffering to Job in an attempt to take him away from God Himself. In order to achieve this, Satan also gives worldly goods to his targets. After I left the Lord, the devil made me gain materials as well as reputation. This caused me to go even farther from God. I lived a life which was the envy of many, making me totally forget about God. I felt that I was in total control of my life. I could buy things without any concern of the price. Since I came to the U.S. in 1996 and went into the restaurant business, I have changed to 14 new automobiles, a simple example of my pride and my indulgence of the lust of my flesh.

Thunder in the Blue Sky

Before that day, I was marching toward the peak of a successful life with all my plans and ambitions. I had no idea that I was in the devil's snare and rushing quickly toward eternal condemnation. But all is in God's hand.

On Nov. 3, 2004, I casually went to the doctor to read the report of my physical exam. Since the doctor demanded a family member be present, my sister went with me. The doc told us that I had an 8-cm tumor in my liver, which was malignant as confirmed by MRI. The picture also showed many small cancerous cells in the liver. According to the AMA guideline, the tumor was greater than 5 cm, then no physician would operate on it. Because of my condition, they determined that chemo-therapy would not help either. The doctor gave me six months to live. Suddenly, I came to the end of life with no possibility of surgery no drug treatment.

He Forsakes Me Not

I saw God's hand push me to the terminal of life. I knew it was His discipline, for "the Lord disciplines whom He loved". There was no other way except to quietly go home and deal with my relationship with God. I prayed for His forgiveness, and in my heart was the word, "be ready to meet your God!" By His decree of "no negotiation!"He had left me with no alternative. As I knelt silently before Him, I thought about my years of rebellion. All I could do was to confess my sins and ask for His forgiveness from the throne of mercy. I committed myself once again to be His little light during the remaining days, so to shine upon the dark world around me. The Lord was faithful and gentle in holding me up. I heard the word, "A bruised reed He breaks not, and a flickering light He extinguishes not!" And I knew that He had once again received me as His child.

God had used this to wake me up, so that I could avoid the eternal destruction. He did not heal my disease, but gave me the eternal life, so that I could be with Him forever and ever. I want to testify before all brothers and sisters that God is not to be mocked. I pray that you will commit yourself to Him as soon as possible, and truly live for Him all the days of your life.

My God of Everlasting Love

(Susan Wu)

I thank God for letting me know a missionary couple while I was in high school. They led us in English Bible study. Since I wanted to learn English, I attended the meetings often. From there I met more missionaries, and the word of God was planted in my heart. It was His grace that called me and led me to the salvation of Jesus Christ.

Then I met Kuan-fu, a descent and considerate young man. His whole family was also Christian. God arranged for us to become husband and wife, later blessed us with two sons and a happy family life.

Coming to the States, we began to experience hardship and distress. After my mother had the surgery from her stroke, I had the added duty of taking care of her. With all the pressures, it was only the love of God and His Word that kept me going. Brother Wu supported me with all his heart and shared the burden of serving mother as his own. Besides God, he was my greatest reliance, for which I forever thank my God for such a husband. Looking back, without him I would never have been able to come through the hardship of past twenty years.

Around midnight of May 18, on his way of coming home from work, he was killed instantly in a head-on collision by a drunken young man. When the police came to the door to notify me of the tragedy, I became numb and cold, almost fallen due to fainting. I could not believe what I heard. Kuan-fu was such a good man. He never owed anyone anything. To be crushed by a drunk? That was totally unfair! He told me that in one year he could retire and will take me traveling around. How could he be gone? And I was left alone? Without Kuan-fu how do I face the future? What can I do? My heart was broken and hurt. I went to the accident site many times, and still could not believe what had happened. My son also asked, "From his work to home it was only a ten-minute ride. How could Dad be hit just like that?"

In the days that followed, the cruel reality of this loss captured my heart. I could not help but hate the young man who caused all this. Every time when I went out and passed that place, my heart cried out with anguish, "I hate you. I cannot help but hate you. I hate you to death, till a hundred generations! I can never forgive you!" I was filled with hatred in my weakness and sorrow.

Thank God for His presence. During the memorial service for Kuan-fu, I felt the special presence of the Lord and was greatly comforted. God's word and the lyrics of the hymns calmed my sorrowful soul. The sharing and testimonies of many spoke of our mutual feeling toward the deceased. With His love and mercy, God reminded me that He is the One who loves me to the end, and will never forsake me.

Still I cannot forgive, continuing in this resentment. But God does not stop His work. Through the prayer and encouragement of many brothers and sisters, I was brought gradually back to the regular church assembly. The light from His word showed me that He was not pleased with my condition. In fact, I was living in the spiritual prison of my own making, and could not be delivered. Eventually, I had to submit myself to Him, willing to come out of the dark clouds of sorrow and enter into His marvelous light. It is not going to be easy, I know. May the Lord help me forgive that young man.

I truly thank the Lord for saving me while I was a young girl. He has led me through the mountains and the valleys of life. After Brother Wu was taken, God has enabled me to experience His special presence. In my daily life He comforts me in my loneliness and sadness; He calms my soul. I thank Him for being the One who loves me forever and will not let me go.